The Internet [monday Sept 25 – sunday Oct 1, 2023] (week in review)

This was the week someone finally arrested the dude who confessed decades ago to being involved in the shooting.

Like, memo to everyone about who the cops don’t investigate, just kill people they like less than they like you.  Tangentially we seem to also be in the era of the potentially weaponized wellness check, because you know swatting is so passé.

(Shakira’s knife dance IS better.)

 

Hmm, interesting summary.  They’re all so blasé about someone dying.  Like, the dudes in Fight Club had more heart ? this shit is straight outta under-appreciated Leo classic The Beach.  That movie just gets realer, man. Fuck. “The playa” right?

Okay instead let’s talk about the boring mainstream neoliberal-cultoids again, eh, as a treat…wwwwatch out, it’s the “conservatives“:

“Performative masculinity” indeed, but specifically the frumpiest kind, the definitionally* least feminine (*because after all, ultimately they’re the goalpost movers of the whole Hegelian dialectic of the “western” gender binary): white guys…eg, this quote: “euphemisms for being a gay man were pretty colourful; oh you know Gary, he’s a little Light In The Loafers or have you met David yet, he’s a Friend Of Dorothy.  I once remarked to a friend of mine that if there were a colourful euphemism for being straight it would be oh, you know about Steve, right? Let’s just say, he has swords on his wall.” Maybe I just associate this heavily with white guys because no other dude whose place I’ve been in has had visible weapons of any kind.

You know why they like brick walls? Well, all in all they are just another brick in the wall, of course, but also they no doubt admire the consistency, the protective sameness. The uniformity, lack of diversity, etc.

Speaking of which…

It’s a form of camp at this point, the old-man-yells-at-cloud routine, and it’s like barely less dire than the brick wall punditry (which is sad because these guys are like, creatives who are widely considered luminaries of mass culture & who were and will always have been involved in some canonical projects).  There is a whole ass musical postlude to this vid ?

 

Fantano being campy about the postmodern pastiche approach.  “Only some people use trumpets right, otherwise trumpets are wrong because I don’t like the songs I hear trumpets in except for the ones I do, which are good. Stop using trumpets!” You sound insane.

It’s just easter eggs, man, like if you hear them and go “oh wow my encyclopedic knowledge of music is really allowing me to identify the reference at play as a component of the instrumentation here,” then whee, you found it, you got it, yay!  If you just think it’s catchy and don’t further identify it because you don’t have that kind of mental lexicon of every song ever, then what’s the difference?  I mean get a load of Hatethony Eastereggstano over here.  You sound like the people saying AI is bad because it’s “lazy.”  More shortcuts means more content, or, new tools means expanded arenas of creativity, opened avenues.  People are just getting over the exact hesitation you’re yelling at them to never get over.  We as content consumers will decide if the quality is acceptable based on an actual presentation of content, not a foregone pseudo-moral stance (/campy Americore founding-father’s-speech-voice).  I don’t want people to not even try interpolation, I love remix postermodernism.

You’re the reason Elton John had to do that whole Finding Forester, Deus-Ex-Connery turn for Dua Lipa, Fantano.  It’s because of you.

 

Okay at some point maybe I will finish watching this, its just so difficult when they’re both dialed in to different levels of affect but also both wavelengths are kind of just weird nicey-nice scenerny-chewing to raise their respective profiles.  It’s like if WWE was indie guys who know Nardwuar.  And the ironic thing is that the gimmick OT is working this time is, this is less like that than usual. Like I just watched 30 more seconds and Oliver literally brought up how his shtick is, being as staged as wrestling.

Feel like I’m watching Subaru from Food Wars cage match a dude.  Which is annoying, because I think Fantano is actually like, a cooler guy.  But then I see this and I’m like dang Oliver Tree is such an artist ?

 

It’s just good to see someone having this much fun.  Plus it’s cool to sample-platter tracks this bangin’ ?  I feel like AJay could teach the world to dance and listen.

 

The Doja Discourse must flow.

 

Put this together with the video above it and then together with abominations like this book cover for a book I’ll never read.

Then put it together with this and this and this and this, eh?

If you think you can treat your child like a dog or object because of x-y-z just wait until they’re grown and you have alzheimers and their reasons for abusing YOU are “x-y-z.” Or maybe they’ll be kind. You better pray.

I was a child subjected to corporal punishment and informed I was legal property.  Have I turned out how these people intend their kids to turn out?  Certainly not.  How meticulously have you crafted the guilt complexes you’ll rely on as insurance in your twilight years, you child abusers?  And when will the last boomer die? When will the last Gen X?  Will I make it to see that, as I by-rights should, being as I too am a bad person–a murderer of nonlegal persons, and consumer of their flesh, bones, eggs?  (Ahh but I’m so superstitious I might manage to avoid all the meat-related health issues, yet.  The clock is ticking. Tangentially: no zombie apocalypse,  no zombie apocalypse ?)

Oh look, it’s a super related video, how timely:

Reminds me of this harrowing post I also saw this week.  I feel like often adults just tell kids “you’re lying” in order to avoid dealing with the fallout of being wrong or right about standing behind an accusation.  So like, stab everyone involved in their sleep if that happens.

 

Mmm…takes me back to that news Jezebel broke a few years ago about the closed listserv of transphobic mainstream media people.

 

British brainrot continues, reason has Brexited the building.  How can terfs stand to be told they’re finally sounding like ~good ~girls by the worst men on earth.  Soulless ghouls, clearly.  You all “get” that out here in the real world, like the by-the-numbers consensus world, it was overwhelmingly the jockass patriarchy freaks like your new fave teammates assaulting us, right?  Not fleeting crossdressers like in a JKR memoir.

 

You can’t make the claim she was capable of giving as good as she got, physically or in terms of social/financial-risk.  So it’s just not a fair fight, and I hope she DID dump up the bed that time.  I took note of the aside about Ana Kasparian being retweeted by Ben Shaprio.  Who’s a good girl?

“We have to become better”? Be best. (Irony innit, because of making fun of Ana for sounding like a conservative. My “crassness” in what, supposedly calling her a bitch or whatever, isn’t actually another layer of irony by the way, because I’m not being crass; my intention is only to best illustrate the relationship a misogynist like Ben Shapiro percieves between himself and Ana Kasparian. Like you reap what you sow, Ben Shapiro is warming up to you publicly, is that a win?  A credit to my generalized distate for Gen X, next thing you know she’ll be in nazi regalia, it’s the Tila Tequila chic-to-creep pipeline.)

 

We’ve come a wrong way, baby.

 

I just hear Lady Sovereign in my head like “I can’t handle this!” People are still doing this? Gawd ? this is a whole thing. I’m not touching this. It’s just this whole “(white) family values” thing is so related to a bunch of the other videos.

Let’s just do a kind-hearted food video, I can’t handle this…

I’m more into Olympia. I get that Portland has that zona caché it’s justWill-Gill.

Oh, speaking of remote, forested-area dwellers…

Love a little Kaczynski lore ? love it beautifully aged like a fine woman. (Gesturing like this.)  This channel is silly-useful for the million hour conspiracy theory iceberg video I downloaded to my phone and watched while flying to and from Toronto recently.  Missed hitting subscribe on the channel until now apparently ?

Okay how about a juxtaposition. From hermit to hypercity:

Make a bunch of artificial islands with these on top and all the settler colonists of the former and current British empire can just be resettled.  Easy-peasy, and death to the kulaks.  Like, they say it was cool to live there you guys.  When you’re in it, you’re not looking at it.

What’s the difference, when we’re all just being weird inside over shit like this:

Not unlike Whang, a scholar. An archival explorer.

 

Wrt the throwaway Lion King joke, about Simba shouldn’t have put out the hyenas like that…the whole arc of that movie is, the gay intelligencia (Scar) want to take over so they promise to start a utopic wellfare state in order to get help gaining power but it’s purely a ploy done out of myopic revenge and, lo and behold, we’re shown that it’s wildly fiscally unsustainable to uplift the (carnivorous) underclass to consumptive parity with the elites & so it bankrupts the nation to do it even for a while but the effete villains were nihilists all along anyway of course, so they just fuck off, and everyone else has to shift back to the old paradigm and do the clean-up work of restoring Christofascist order-of-being conservativism.

No, no, I’m not done: The Lion King is weirdly racist and anti-egalitarian, it’s a parable about a gay dictator rabble-rousing a ghetto-fabulous army via underdog populism because of unresolved family trauma (and his state collapsing due to the exact “inherent flaws” presumed by neocons/neolibs to be transposable from sharply material equations like prey animal populations to deeply immaterial bullshit like “capital” in a funnymoneyprinting based world).  It’s like if Charles Manson’s race war plan had happened but turned out exactly like pro-KKK propaganda…only, fictionalized with characters stolen from an old Toei property instead of a bunch of protowook cultists.

 

Spooky Season has officially started now that it’s October.  (Eugene didn’t wanna do this again, huh? “Shitty costumes but this time there’s an insane gauntlet of them”? He got to just opt out?  If so, sweet, hate it when he’s So Done but it IS a loss to the overall poise and hotness quotients of the whole thing. No offense to everyond else on Earth but, we lost, we can go home, Eugene showed up. To life, not this video.) I expect this to be the first of many such specials across the platform as per the by-now-well-established annual YT algorithm commandments.  Low-effort yet extremely high-confidence drag is my wheelhouse so I’m totally excited about all this.

Let the spoops begin ???✨️???????

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