The Internet [monday Aug 28 – sunday Sept 3, 2023] (week in review)

Well, this was the week that Burning Man flooded.  The CBC was briefly on YT’s trending list with this video about it.  People onsite are pretty blasé given that someone actually diedTo be fair, there were three deaths at Woodstock ’94 so by the numbers, Burning Man is still a relatively soft and “safe” festival environment. By the numbers.

 

If you’ve got taste, your favorite skidrow microceleb is Rebecca, and you can’t stand her manager/cameraman/financier/interviewier Mark.  The saga continues.  Why didn’t he take her to a podiatrist? Why doesn’t he buy her a condo and stick cameras everywhere and monetize a 24 hour stream?  He can still dip in to shame her about her drug use, her gender presentation, etc, I’m sure a portion of the viewership is eating all that uppppp. (Nasty!)

Rebecca is so smart, funny and fantastic, why is Mark trying to change her?  She’s perfectly poetically coherent to many.  Unfortunately it seems like her fans (present company included) don’t have “soft white underbelly” money.

 

Speaking of misunderstood, underappreciated artists…these are the facts as we know them about tubgirl.

 

And meanwhile people want to act shocked about what this girl says (and she’s not even talking about the sublime dao of a diarrhea fountain to the face).  Some people aren’t online enough, you know?

 

And somehow it feels like, anyone shocked by Sexy Redd somehow wouldn’t find this item shocking…unless it was their handsy egotistic boss objectifying their mouth with his tongue in front of their whole country and a global community of their colleagues and peers.  Then, they might be shocked, even a tad miffed.

If D’Angelo seems overly pressed to you, possibly re-evaluate. Maybe it’s your mirror neuron situation vis a vis women/femmes vs men/mascs, or even just your mirror neuron situation in general.

 

Feels like people are scared to say anything positive about him so everyone who learns enough to make a video essay just …doesn’t make a video essay.

 

I feel like those of us who would prefer to see, ingame and irl, more BBWs and other groups unfairly maligned under (broadly) neoliberal fascism, need to work harder AND smarter than we have; how are we still talking about this gamergate era stuff in these gamergate era ways? We should have onboarded these guys years ago.  Is this new lighting a smart pivot for Noah? Maybe it is, maybe this is good lighting for convincing “centrists” (largely apolitical, distracted normies) to listen.  Truly unreal that Anita Sarkeesian remains relevant to talk about.

 

This is even more baffling in the are-we-still-flipping-back-to-read-this-page-aloud-to-people sense.

 

This format is so difficult to pay actual attention to for any length of time, but if you’re as obsessed with Defunctland as Adam Conover is (I nearly am) it’s actually worth the absorption strain.  Relive the giddy highs of various Defunctland detective trails and reveals, the classic twists and turns that had you giving a fuck in the first place.

 

Someone’s fighting the good fight against the loss of recent history.  No longer will these strangely loveable McDonalds-es of Florida be consigned to the dustbin of fallible human memory.  Now it’s in the cloud. The fallible human cloud.  I went to a weird McDonalds in Florida in 2017 during the Trump inauguration; you could play slots in the side of the McDonalds that was a bodega-gas station.  I got one of those windchimes that has translucent blue plastic dolphins in it, and a mug that said my name and had a panoramic scene of Floridian things, sort of (there’s a lion).  I’ve lost the mug ? but I deeply believe that these places are a special kind of kooky and this video really validates and elaborates on that belief.

 

This is actually the kind of comprehensive coverage of a question concerning food-and-locale that inspires the reviews on this site.  Once you’ve reviewed every place of a certain type in a certain area, you can provide a full breakdown of how they rank against one another.  That’s actually really useful for visitors who want to do the research it takes to do a place right–by either their own standards or the critic’s–the first time.  It’s also potentially useful for locals who just can’t shake the braincloud and can’t get oriented within their area.  This kind of curatorial instinct reminds me of what Rich Juzwiak did for mid-aughts pop music and tv culture or what Dinosaur Dracula does for 80s toys and junk food. Or what either of them does for VHS horror.

 

Giving me Cook’s Tour nostalgia, fella.

 

Oh cool, more nostalgia.  Waffle House has been on my mind since I hitchhiked from Toronto to Tennessee in 2013. Tony understood the Waffle House halo.  Get thee to a Waffle House ? ? ?

 

The only reasonable pet going forward in a post-crash economic paradigm, is one that lays eggs.

 

Speaking of eggs, this is still a trend. These parents hate their kids, they’re like “ha-ha my kid is in pain!” Sure, funny! Funny! These are callous, bad parents, and there is no way they will every Get that because their brains are already clearly too rotted to function.  “Y’all have to understand that these are babies.” Babies with head injuries, the apple gets bruised by the tree.

These kids will look back on this era of documented child abuse and think “well, at least they’re only gaslighting themselves now, over at the rest-home. Let’s never go there.”

The older kids who validate their parents behavior have, in all likelihood, simply had more years to learn that their caregivers are capricious and cruel and that they fully expect to be congratulated for abusing you every step of the way.  It’s a path of least resistance strategy of survival to laugh along at your own misfortune at your strangely malicious (compulsory-) parent’s hands.

Go ahead and keep outing yourselves to your kids’s future shrinks, NA groups, etc.

 

Speaking of just desserts…wanna watch an Australian bitcoin huckster sweat?

 

Useful little survey, presented in a way that somehow makes it tedious anyway. Sorry Lucas ?

 

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